Sunday, May 22, 2011

A New day

The sun rose today to a glorious spectacle and so did I. You see, we cannot be assured that each day we will awake and be who we are to those that expect us to be, well, who we are to them. Many of my inner circle know that I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis over two years ago. This is not JUST any arthritis as many think when they hear that word. It is forever, The cause of RA is unknown. It is considered an autoimmune disease. The body's immune system normally fights off foreign substances, like viruses. But in an autoimmune disease, the immune system confuses healthy tissue for foreign substances. As a result, the body attacks itself. I have to endure many drugs a day including a chemo drug once a week in a high dose as well as IV once a month called a Biologic drug. These are designed to affect parts of the immune system that play a role in the disease process of rheumatoid arthritis. There is no cure, just medications to help you through the pain, well supposed to help anyhow.

Well, along with this, I seem to have also been losing my memory; is it related, my doctor said it is due to all the medication I am on each day, but my fear is my remembering my grandfather died from Alzheimer’s. So, do I worry about that or the incurable RA…how about neither from this day on. I accidentally took eight Zanax pills Friday night instead of my chemo pills. I knew as soon as I placed them in my mouth as I know the taste of Xanax and the chemo pills have no taste, eight plus my sleeping pill and my muscle relaxer. I told hubby to call poison control and I tired to throw up. My mind was spinning thinking of so many different things all at once.

As it turns out poison control said I would be okay but would sleep a little bit; I slept for 24 hours. But I learned something very important during this “crisis”. I learned that some people I thought I needed in my life I really didn’t. I realized if I had died I had no regrets except for the fact I could not spent more time with my husband who I love more than my own life, I realized I need to concentrate more on some things and less on others. I realized any day can be your last and to not ever take even one day for granted.

I don’t live an exciting life, but I do have a few people that love me and I them. I realized I spend more time with my four dogs than I do my husband, and yet I don’t think I would change a thing right now. God gave me this life almost 47 years ago, and I once (more than once) I asked him to take me home with him as I had had enough, but He didn’t, and I am so glad He kept me here. I may not solve a world crisis, I may create the cure for cancer or even RA, but I did learn Friday night that even if just one person loves you, I mean really loves you, than you are blessed. I have that one person, my husband, and a few more as well so I am very blessed. Never take your life for granted, never take the ones that you love for granted, and always always hug your dogs, they are after all a present from God, and God has blessed with over and over again. Have a great Sunday everyone, and may I soon talk to you again when the sun rises on our newest day. Happy Tail wagging.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Before I Was A Dog Mom

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I made and ate hot meals unmolested.
I had unstained, unfurred clothes.
I had quiet conversations on the phone,
even if the doorbell rang.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I slept as late as I wanted
and never worried about how late I got to bed
or if I could get into my bed.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I cleaned my house every day.
I never tripped over toys, stuffies, chewies
or invited the neighbor's dog over to play.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I didn't worry if my plants, cleansers,
plastic bags, toilet paper, soap or deodorant
were poisonous or dangerous.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never been peed on,
pooped on, drooled on,
chewed on or pinched by puppy teeth.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had complete control of my thoughts,
my body and mind.
I slept all night without sharing the covers or pillow.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I never looked into big, soulful eyes and cried.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop a hurt.
I never knew something so furry and four-legged
could affect my heart so deeply.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never held a sleeping puppy
just because I couldn't put it down.
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was well.
I didn't know how warm it feels inside
to feed a hungry puppy.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never known the warmth, the joy,
the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the
satisfaction of being...
A Dog Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Dog Moms like me!!!