Friday, September 14, 2012


Irony (incongruity between what actually happens and what might be expected to happen, especially when this disparity seems absurd or laughable.)

I was told a story last night that I had to share. A woman’s daughter, who loves all animals, decided to take a job working in a local pet store. One day the parents went to visit the daughter and in the guest bedroom they were staying a very rancid smell was emulating from the closet. Mom, being the curious type and wanting to eliminate the smell if possible, opened the closet door to see what the culprit was. To her surprise was a cage with mice inside! When she asked her daughter about the mice, the daughter’s reply was, “I just had to save them. I could not bear the thought of someone purchasing them for snake food.” Mom, being an understanding mom of her daughter’s feelings just shrugged and asked that the cage be removed and placed in the garage during their visit.

Well, the next morning mom went out into the garage and yup, it is so…a snake was in the cage and his belly was so swollen from swallowing one of the mice was trapped as he could no longer fit through the cage bars. The mom let out quite a laugh at the irony of the situation; needless to say the daughter did not share in the chuckle.

Ah... life doesn’t always work out the way it was planned; so all we can do is tidy up the messes, wipe them out of mind, smile (and chuckle if you’d like), and continue on.

Remember: Only God loves you more than your dog.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A Hurting Heart Does Heal with Love

Love will heal a broken heart...
I can only pray that someday all the people who hate, lie, and willfully hurt will vanish from the earth and leave the kindred spirits a beautiful place to be. It doesn’t matter how many of “your” friends respond to the lies you write, of course they are going to support your lies, they are YOUR friends and they only know ONE sadly distorted version of the past. It is the guilt you have of your multi-men cheating, child alienation, and hate for a man that has found happiness that has finally seen its Karma.
A relationship, no matter if it is husband and wife, brother and sister, or parent and child, has one door and that door must be opened by BOTH parties in order for the relationship to work. If a child refuses to call, see, communicate, or share their life with one parent simply because they have moved out of state, well then, the guilty party of the lost relationship lies with the child, not the parent who continually and tiredly tried to save the relationship.

A human has a heart, and hearts break; so when a dad has tried to keep the relationship with his daughters alive and flourishing and in return gets an ultimatum, move back or we will not treat you like our dad, to whom does the blame lie? The “dad’s” heart will always love these children, but the relationship is broken just as the heart is. An adult child has a responsibility to initiate and continue to grow the relationship as much as the parent. A parent is still just a mere mortal and he can only be kicked in the gut and beaten down so many times before he simply stops getting up to take another beating. It is human nature that after years and years of loving and supporting his children and being rejected that his soul and heart breaks and he must go into self-preservation or he too will be lost forever. He picks himself up, finds “real” love, buries the hurt, and begins to live life to the fullest surrounded by those that choose to have him in their lives.
Now that Karma has awoken, how can a child expect this dad to be at one event, on one day, when you have forgotten and hurt him for close to fifteen years? This child never even invited or even called to tell “dad” of other major events in her life such as high school graduation, college graduation, getting engaged; so why now do you want him there for just one day in your life that YOU choose him to be there? To me mocked at, to be looked at like a loser? It certainly wasn’t to be an active participant in her “big” day. This I know because he had to find out on Face Book that she was engaged, he never received a call of excitement from her to announce the wonderful news. He never received a call to say, “Dad, I can’t wait to see you at my wedding!” He instead was never even asked to “save the date” as others were, he was finally just sent an invite, as simple and normal as 250 other guests; nothing special at all for “dad”.  He was not asked to be a part of the wedding in any “special” way a dad should be. Such as knowing about the engagement party and being invited, or advised when the festivities of the pre-wedding events will take place and invited to be a part of them like a “dad” should. Hell, he wasn’t even listed as a parent in the announcement!

Finally, I have to ask, when this wedding announcement (shown here) was placed for the entire world to see announcing your big day, where was mention of “dad”? It seems as if this was when YOU choose to think of your “dad” as just a sperm donor, it wasn’t anything “dad” did or didn’t do. So sadly, it is with justification that “dad” will not be in attendance, he can’t be, your announcement clearly shows no love, respect, or acknowledgement of even having a “dad”.
So to those that wish to judge this man in a harsh and hateful way, continue to do so, because you don’t know the truth, the history, or both sides of this tragic story which details a dad who did all he could to save the relationship with his daughters but was always pushed away and never wanted unless it was on their terms - in their state of residence, not where dad worked and had a decent job and ONLY if he left the one true love and soul mate of his life; his new wife.

So the wedding will go on, and life will go on, and yes “dad” is hurting, but he has been for so long now it is just a numb feeling in the bottom of his heart. “Dad” is happy, loved, respected, and should have NO regrets at all for what has taken place over the years, he did not choose this path, he was placed on it by those who wanted revenge against him and to make him pay for leaving a woman that cheated on him and disrespected him for many years. No man has stay in such a despicable and miserable marriage. He left his ex, but he never left the children, they abandoned him long ago and now cry foul when he chooses to no longer get kicked in the gut and have his heart stomped on. He will be here, at our home, on her wedding day where he is wanted, respected, and so loved, verses sitting in a chair as a “guest” as plain and ordinary as the many other guests will be. When you want a “dad” and not a sperm donor, it takes communication, respect, but most of all a desire to have a loving relationship with “dad” no matter where in the world he may be.
For me, I thank God every day that He gave me this incredible, gentle, supporting, genuine, and loving man to care for and share the remainder of my life with. My husband deserves to have all the wonderful and fulfilling happiness life has to offer. God has truly blessed us with all His glory; He has given us fourteen blissful, incredible, and truly loving years together. With God’s love, my love, and all our friends and family’s support, we will continue to comfort this great man and heal over some of the scars left behind by those that tore him apart.

I will protect those that are mine, I will always love those that are mine, and I will always, always, stand by my man.