RA – Rheumatoid Arthritis:
I suffer
from this disease, yes it is a disease not just an “aching” problem caused by
old age. People see me and notice minor differences to my “outer” looks than a
few years ago but they cannot “see” my pain. People automatically hear
“arthritis” and think “oh I have a touch of it myself, my knee, or my finger,
etc.” I think once people understand that osteoarthritis and rheumatoid
arthritis are as different as night and day it will be understood. The
difference between the two always make me wish – rheumatoid arthritis be
called by a different name, maybe get rid of the word arthritis and replace with disease. It may have
people think in a different direction. Without the word arthritis, there won’t
be the automatic connection with osteoarthritis. RA is more than arthritis, it is a systemic disease, which means it can affect other organs
in the body.
The list of Rheumatoid Arthritis symptoms include - joint pain, stiffness, fatigue, and depression. Rheumatoid arthritis stiffness can make you feel like you are
moving through wet cement. Your joint pain can feel like you sprained your
knees, shoulders, neck, and wrists all at the same time. That’s because
rheumatoid arthritis is an inflammatory disease that affects your whole body. Having an unpredictable disease liker rheumatoid
arthritis can be an emotional roller coaster. The toll that active rheumatoid arthritis inflammation takes
is often under-appreciated.
First let me
say. “There is nothing normal in my life anymore.” I have sense of imbalance in life due to the increased need for rest
and sleep and feelings of frustration and shame. I used to be able to open a
bottle cap from my water bottle without thinking, now it is a chore. I am fatigued
most of the day; my body hurts in ways that unless you can really “feel” it,
make it difficult to comprehend. I cope as best I can, but at times it
overwhelms my daily life and thoughts. Some days I want to walk into the closet
with my fur-babies and block away the world. I want to be “normal” again, but
there is no going back, this is a progressive disease without a cure. I fight
the fight when I have the strength, and I deal with the pain, what is the most
difficult to deal with is knowing that outsiders (those who don’t have the
disease) around me are unable to appreciate what I deal with every day; you
look fine, you have no scars or deformities, so you must just be getting lazy.
I saw this portion of a recent study, and because it mirrors my feelings and
should make me sad, it helps knowing that I am not alone, and that makes me
feel pretty good today.
“A 2013 study published in Clinical
Rheumatology reported on participants who took part in six focus group
discussions on fatigue and RA. Researchers found that rheumatoid arthritis
fatigue was unpredictable, overwhelming, and often associated with frustration,
fear, and negative emotions.”
There are many people in my life that don’t see it, but I don’t
imagine they want to. They just notice that I move slower and wear more
practical shoes. They don’t see my morning shuffle or my cabinet full of pills.
And though it’s easy to joke about the aging process and how it sucks to get
old, I’m only 49, and I’m worried about what is yet to come.My fur-children get me through each and every day with their unconditional love and understanding.
Always remember, Only God loves you more than your dog.
