Okay many of my friends don’t know what to say when I tell them that my four legged friends are more worthy than they are of my friendship. “More worthy!” one says, “How can that possibly be?” Well let me explain. When you are upset with your husband you call me on the phone and proceed to tell me in vivid detail all that is wrong with your husband. From his leaving his dirty socks on the floor next to the bed, to “oh and did I tell you that he would not stop staring at this lady in the store the other day who was wearing a mini skirt small enough to fit Barbie?” Oh I could go on and on, just as you do, talk, talk, talk, complain, complain, complain, but hey, I need to move on here. Not only do take up many hours of my time discussing (is that what you would call it) all the negatives of your husband, you want me to sympathize with your dilemma and even expect me to somehow fix the problem! So I try to offer you my take on the situation all while in agreement with you that your husband is a no good lazy womanizer that you should have dumped years ago.
So it should be problem solved right? I have agreed with you and we can now move on to something else, like me hanging up the phone and getting back to my life, but no, that would be too easy and much too logical. I listen as you are silent for a moment and then when you start up again you are lashing out at me! Huh? Somehow what I said didn’t calm you, oh no it somehow got scrambled in your thought process causing you to place all your marriage quandary on me…wait what did I do, I don’t even live with you and those certainly are not my dirty socks you just picked up. As we hang up, you are in love with your husband and crying that I am the worst friend you have ever had and you are not sure if we can go on with this relationship, as you clearly cannot be friends with someone that disrespects your wonderful, adoring, passionate, and devoted husband.
I hang up the phone shaking my head and pet the big, fluffy, drooling head that has been in my lap this entire time. He looks up at me with such admiration and love, nothing cynical or complicated going on in his thought process, no scrambled eggs up there. I look him in the eye and say, “What the heck just happened?” his response, a big wet kiss on the cheek before he runs to the back door as if to say, that is what you get with your two legged friends, complicated situations, lack of unconditional love and friendship, and headaches. Me, all I want to do is love you, comfort you, and chase the ball, come on let’s go out and have some fun.